1 00:00:04,383 --> 00:00:05,866 If friends are like family, 2 00:00:05,867 --> 00:00:08,248 then friends of friends are like cousins. 3 00:00:08,249 --> 00:00:11,424 Some can be cool, some can be insufferable. 4 00:00:11,425 --> 00:00:13,115 It can break either way. 5 00:00:13,116 --> 00:00:15,255 Ah! Hey, guys! Phil's coming by. 6 00:00:15,256 --> 00:00:16,946 Oh, great. 7 00:00:16,947 --> 00:00:19,087 Who's Phil? He's a friend. He's, like, our best customer. 8 00:00:19,088 --> 00:00:21,192 You are gonna love him. He's hilarious. 9 00:00:21,193 --> 00:00:23,677 Hey, you know, we wouldn't even know Phil if it wasn't for the store. 10 00:00:23,678 --> 00:00:26,749 Which proves my point as to why we should keep the store. 11 00:00:26,750 --> 00:00:29,718 Except that he plays in our online fantasy league. 12 00:00:29,719 --> 00:00:31,133 On the Internet. 13 00:00:31,134 --> 00:00:32,790 Oh, man. Here we go again... 14 00:00:32,791 --> 00:00:35,551 People prefer a face-to-face relationship. 15 00:00:35,552 --> 00:00:37,553 Sure, but if we're losing money, 16 00:00:37,554 --> 00:00:40,108 we could cut our overhead costs by going completely online. 17 00:00:40,109 --> 00:00:41,350 You know another way to save money? 18 00:00:41,351 --> 00:00:43,076 I could downsize half my work force. 19 00:00:43,077 --> 00:00:46,114 Oh, my God. Don't you guys have hours at work every day 20 00:00:46,115 --> 00:00:48,047 to have the same argument over and over again? 21 00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,325 Not that this isn't super entertaining. Not at all. 22 00:00:50,326 --> 00:00:52,085 All Mike does is sing these jingles 23 00:00:52,086 --> 00:00:54,467 that then get stuck in your head for the rest of the day. 24 00:00:54,468 --> 00:00:56,710 ♪ Nationwide is on your side 25 00:00:56,711 --> 00:00:59,230 Ew. Now we're on your side, buddy. 26 00:00:59,231 --> 00:01:01,336 Hey, guys. Hey. 27 00:01:01,337 --> 00:01:04,684 Who is ready for the social event of the season? 28 00:01:04,685 --> 00:01:06,824 Yes, please. 29 00:01:06,825 --> 00:01:09,171 I'm throwing my first annual birthday bash and all-girls' night. 30 00:01:09,172 --> 00:01:11,415 Oh, good! 31 00:01:11,416 --> 00:01:17,006 See, I love you and I really want to celebrate you any way that you want. 32 00:01:17,007 --> 00:01:20,769 It's just, your friends and I, we don't always have a lot in common. 33 00:01:20,770 --> 00:01:22,426 But some of them are new. 34 00:01:22,427 --> 00:01:23,979 Maybe you'll have something in common with them. 35 00:01:23,980 --> 00:01:27,327 Do they squeal? I bet they squeal. 36 00:01:27,328 --> 00:01:29,916 Look, I understand. Not everybody gets along with everyone else. 37 00:01:29,917 --> 00:01:31,814 Okay, good, because... 38 00:01:31,815 --> 00:01:35,266 But, as an adult, when I have nothing in common with my friends' friends, 39 00:01:35,267 --> 00:01:37,958 I make an effort until I learn to accept all of them. 40 00:01:37,959 --> 00:01:39,098 Except Kenny. 41 00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:41,307 Hey! Just for that, I'm not coming. 42 00:01:41,308 --> 00:01:43,102 Good. 'Cause you're not invited. 43 00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:45,621 Although I can understand how the phrase "girls' night" confused you. 44 00:01:45,622 --> 00:01:47,451 Good one. Are you turning 11? 45 00:01:47,452 --> 00:01:49,832 Good one. Who needs? 46 00:01:49,833 --> 00:01:52,490 Peej, I judged the Bacon Olympics. 47 00:01:52,491 --> 00:01:56,218 I cheerfully participated in boilermaker night. 48 00:01:56,219 --> 00:01:59,428 And when you guys waited outside in the cold for those Springsteen tickets, 49 00:01:59,429 --> 00:02:02,500 I rubbed Mike's feet so he wouldn't lose a toe. 50 00:02:02,501 --> 00:02:05,848 Ooh. That was sweet. Bad friend. 51 00:02:05,849 --> 00:02:08,851 God, you're absolutely right. Okay, you know what? 52 00:02:08,852 --> 00:02:12,165 I am going to make more of an effort. 53 00:02:12,166 --> 00:02:14,788 Or I could just buy you something really expensive. 54 00:02:14,789 --> 00:02:16,721 Your presence will be gift enough. 55 00:02:16,722 --> 00:02:19,517 Yeah, I guess you wouldn't want a gift, because you'd probably be afraid of, 56 00:02:19,518 --> 00:02:21,243 "Oh, my God, it's a candle!" 57 00:02:21,244 --> 00:02:23,797 "It's a candle! It's a candle!" 58 00:02:37,916 --> 00:02:41,160 Bobby! What's up, buddy? Hey, can you do me a favor? 59 00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,506 Sure, man. What's up? 60 00:02:42,507 --> 00:02:44,335 It's about your buddy, John. 61 00:02:44,336 --> 00:02:45,716 All right. Ever since we opened the club together, 62 00:02:45,717 --> 00:02:47,925 all he does is hang out and give his friends free drinks. 63 00:02:47,926 --> 00:02:49,996 Isn't that why people open bars? 64 00:02:49,997 --> 00:02:52,999 Look, John put up all the money, okay? I brought the expertise. 65 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:54,449 We agreed to be equal partners, 66 00:02:54,450 --> 00:02:56,071 but now he just treats me like I'm the bartender. 67 00:02:56,072 --> 00:02:57,762 That sucks, man, but what do you want me to do? 68 00:02:57,763 --> 00:02:59,557 Could you talk to him? 69 00:02:59,558 --> 00:03:01,076 Look, you know, the next time you guys are hanging out 70 00:03:01,077 --> 00:03:02,457 in your big, fancy leather chairs, 71 00:03:02,458 --> 00:03:05,114 sparking up your cigars, you know, just slip it in. 72 00:03:05,115 --> 00:03:08,497 Wait, wait. When did I become the guy from the Monopoly game? 73 00:03:08,498 --> 00:03:10,119 If you think of it. I don't know, man. 74 00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:12,191 I don't know if that's really my place. 75 00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:17,197 Plus, we're pretty busy covering the city in windowless red hotels. 76 00:03:20,407 --> 00:03:22,373 Hey, Kenny! Mike! Hey, it's Phil! 77 00:03:22,374 --> 00:03:24,513 Hey, Phil. That's Phil! No way. 78 00:03:24,514 --> 00:03:25,618 How you doing? 79 00:03:25,619 --> 00:03:26,860 Hey, Phil. This is P.J. 80 00:03:26,861 --> 00:03:29,725 Hi. This is really a thrill. I'm a big fan. 81 00:03:29,726 --> 00:03:32,728 I read your column all the time. Is that cloying? 82 00:03:32,729 --> 00:03:34,627 Not at all. 83 00:03:34,628 --> 00:03:36,318 Well, you're just a refreshing new voice in sports, 84 00:03:36,319 --> 00:03:38,113 and even better-looking in person. 85 00:03:38,114 --> 00:03:40,219 How about that? Nope. 86 00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,910 Wow, you're uncloyable. 87 00:03:41,911 --> 00:03:43,601 That's not even a real word. 88 00:03:43,602 --> 00:03:45,327 I know that. 89 00:03:45,328 --> 00:03:47,260 Let me get you something to drink. What are you having? 90 00:03:47,261 --> 00:03:49,918 Oh. I'll have a Harvey Wallbanger. 91 00:03:49,919 --> 00:03:52,196 Thank you. 92 00:03:52,197 --> 00:03:53,266 Sure. 93 00:03:53,267 --> 00:03:54,819 It's a cute story. A guy comes in... 94 00:03:54,820 --> 00:03:56,235 Whoa! 95 00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:57,615 What is he doing here? 96 00:03:57,616 --> 00:03:59,376 Um... Who? 97 00:03:59,377 --> 00:04:01,240 Did you just get here? No. I've been hiding. 98 00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:03,138 Why are you talking to Dr. Clayton? 99 00:04:03,139 --> 00:04:05,347 You mean Phil? 'Cause he seems nice. 100 00:04:05,348 --> 00:04:06,452 He's the devil. 101 00:04:06,453 --> 00:04:08,316 Okay, what is going on? 102 00:04:08,317 --> 00:04:09,524 Why are you hiding? 103 00:04:09,525 --> 00:04:11,180 He was our couples' therapist. 104 00:04:11,181 --> 00:04:14,736 He's seen my innermost self. 105 00:04:14,737 --> 00:04:17,981 And I owe him 150 bucks. But mostly the self part. 106 00:04:25,575 --> 00:04:27,990 And then, between the Army and med school, 107 00:04:27,991 --> 00:04:29,889 I toured around the country with my music, 108 00:04:29,890 --> 00:04:32,616 and had a brief stint with Manhattan Transfer. 109 00:04:32,617 --> 00:04:36,585 That was eight crazy days, I gotta tell you. Whatever you heard, it's true. 110 00:04:37,725 --> 00:04:39,726 Get out. 111 00:04:39,727 --> 00:04:42,004 Well, I'm going to hit the latrine, which is army talk. 112 00:04:42,005 --> 00:04:43,972 Go ahead and order another pitcher without me. 113 00:04:45,837 --> 00:04:46,838 Isn't he awesome? 114 00:04:48,771 --> 00:04:50,358 Why is he still here? 115 00:04:50,359 --> 00:04:52,049 Andy, what are you doing here? I thought you left. 116 00:04:52,050 --> 00:04:54,569 I couldn't. I want you to ask him to leave. 117 00:04:54,570 --> 00:04:57,054 He's our friend. He's not your friend. 118 00:04:57,055 --> 00:04:59,505 He's a therapist. What? 119 00:04:59,506 --> 00:05:02,853 Meredith and I were having troubles, right? So we went to see him. 120 00:05:02,854 --> 00:05:04,579 But he's so nice. I bet he's a great therapist. 121 00:05:04,580 --> 00:05:05,959 He's horrible. 122 00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:08,721 All he did was sing these stupid songs. 123 00:05:08,722 --> 00:05:10,343 Oh! That guy. 124 00:05:10,344 --> 00:05:12,380 Yeah. Well, look, he's our friend. 125 00:05:12,381 --> 00:05:14,313 And he probably doesn't even remember you. 126 00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:17,212 Plus, he might spill some of your juicy marital secrets. I mean, that alone... 127 00:05:17,213 --> 00:05:20,388 Hey, a guy can't go loop his mule without being replaced? 128 00:05:21,700 --> 00:05:22,735 Hi, Phil Clayton. 129 00:05:22,736 --> 00:05:24,184 Hey. Andy. 130 00:05:24,185 --> 00:05:25,531 Hey, Andy. How are you? 131 00:05:25,532 --> 00:05:28,844 Or, as my wife calls me, Mr. Wonderful... Happy... 132 00:05:30,364 --> 00:05:34,160 I'm happily married. Yup. Yup. 133 00:05:34,161 --> 00:05:36,058 Well, good for you. 134 00:05:36,059 --> 00:05:39,649 I know you're new here, but feel free to be embarrassed for him. 135 00:05:42,238 --> 00:05:44,826 So, P.J.'s a writer, too. This is Madison. 136 00:05:44,827 --> 00:05:47,760 She wrote a book about working as a bachelor party stripper. 137 00:05:47,761 --> 00:05:50,245 Oh, wow, so you were interested in stripping? 138 00:05:50,246 --> 00:05:52,109 Oh, no. I was interested in selling a book. 139 00:05:52,110 --> 00:05:53,835 Oh, for my book, I pretended to be ugly. 140 00:05:53,836 --> 00:05:55,802 It was hard. 141 00:05:55,803 --> 00:05:58,840 But in this marketplace, you can't succeed without a personal brand. 142 00:05:58,841 --> 00:06:01,705 I don't have a brand. Are you kidding? You have a great one. 143 00:06:01,706 --> 00:06:05,329 Down to earth, Midwestern girl next door who can hang with the boys 144 00:06:05,330 --> 00:06:07,193 and would be so pretty if she put her hair down. 145 00:06:07,194 --> 00:06:09,851 Yeah. You're a Twister era Helen Hunt. 146 00:06:09,852 --> 00:06:11,370 Yippee! 147 00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,578 Who wants more wine? 148 00:06:12,579 --> 00:06:15,304 Or beer, whatever. Let's go. 149 00:06:15,305 --> 00:06:18,377 Stephanie, I am really trying, but your friends are intense. 150 00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:22,726 They're just motivated. And it's so great. I get to be the laid-back, nice one. 151 00:06:22,727 --> 00:06:24,175 Really? 152 00:06:24,176 --> 00:06:26,661 They call me Margaritaville. Yeah. 153 00:06:26,662 --> 00:06:29,318 Look, they really are nice, and you said you'd make an effort. 154 00:06:29,319 --> 00:06:31,562 Yeah. If I do it for a year, can I write a book about it? 155 00:06:31,563 --> 00:06:34,013 Hey, Margaritaville! Emily's here. 156 00:06:34,014 --> 00:06:36,498 I'm so sorry I'm late. I was helping my grandma move. 157 00:06:36,499 --> 00:06:39,536 Oh, Emily. This is my friend P.J. 158 00:06:39,537 --> 00:06:40,640 Hi, nice to meet you. 159 00:06:40,641 --> 00:06:42,021 Nice to meet you. 160 00:06:42,022 --> 00:06:45,990 So, did I miss all the squealing? 161 00:06:45,991 --> 00:06:48,268 So, Gore daughter, Gore daughter, Chelsea in the back. 162 00:06:48,269 --> 00:06:50,098 Like, "No, no. We shouldn't do this!" 163 00:06:50,099 --> 00:06:52,272 I'm like, "It's fine. I got that Secret Service dude's gun." 164 00:06:52,273 --> 00:06:53,722 What's gonna happen, right? 165 00:06:53,723 --> 00:06:55,897 John, I thought we were gonna go over the accounts today, man. 166 00:06:55,898 --> 00:06:58,934 Yeah, of course. Right after you get us another round. 167 00:06:58,935 --> 00:07:01,385 So, I'm like, "Okay, left at the mall? Right at the mall? 168 00:07:01,386 --> 00:07:03,387 "I gotta find the Potomac!" 169 00:07:03,388 --> 00:07:06,874 He's making me refill his glass, man. Help me out here. 170 00:07:09,290 --> 00:07:11,084 Boy, I know how he feels. 171 00:07:11,085 --> 00:07:13,501 My business partner doesn't appreciate me, either. 172 00:07:13,502 --> 00:07:16,745 Business partner? Did you get another job I'm not aware of? 173 00:07:20,370 --> 00:07:23,891 Is that Dr. Clayton? Did you invite him here? 174 00:07:24,513 --> 00:07:25,720 To my sanctuary? 175 00:07:25,721 --> 00:07:27,273 I thought you hated this place. 176 00:07:27,274 --> 00:07:28,447 I hate everything. 177 00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,103 Is there a doctor in the house? 178 00:07:30,104 --> 00:07:32,002 Good to see you, Doc. 179 00:07:32,003 --> 00:07:36,696 Good to see you guys. How are you? And it's Andy, right? 180 00:07:36,697 --> 00:07:41,080 Yup. Wow. You do look so familiar. 181 00:07:41,081 --> 00:07:43,910 You know, I've been trying to place you for days now. 182 00:07:43,911 --> 00:07:46,672 I was talking to my wife, Suzanne, and I said, 183 00:07:46,673 --> 00:07:50,227 "I think it's the guy who painted our den." 184 00:07:50,228 --> 00:07:52,954 But then, he had one arm. So, that wouldn't be you, would it? 185 00:07:52,955 --> 00:07:54,265 Andy can't paint. 186 00:07:54,266 --> 00:07:58,407 And then I thought, "I know how I know you." 187 00:07:58,408 --> 00:08:00,202 Look, Dr. Clayton... 188 00:08:00,203 --> 00:08:03,102 You used to have season tickets right behind me 189 00:08:03,103 --> 00:08:04,449 at the Bulls games. 190 00:08:07,452 --> 00:08:08,521 You got me. 191 00:08:08,522 --> 00:08:09,627 Yeah. I sure do. 192 00:08:10,455 --> 00:08:11,662 - Go Bulls! - Yeah! 193 00:08:11,663 --> 00:08:13,146 Go Bulls! Go Bulls! 194 00:08:13,147 --> 00:08:15,114 Recognize the back of that head? There it is. 195 00:08:17,013 --> 00:08:21,292 Boyfriends suck. Jim went ahead with his appendectomy on my birthday. 196 00:08:21,293 --> 00:08:24,779 Ladies, ladies, I think you're being a little too picky. 197 00:08:24,780 --> 00:08:27,506 That's your problem, Stephanie. You're too forgiving. 198 00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:30,371 See? I'm the forgiving one. 199 00:08:35,031 --> 00:08:37,516 So, P.J., do you have a boyfriend? 200 00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,483 I do. I do. 201 00:08:39,484 --> 00:08:43,763 I'm a little embarrassed to bring him up, though. I actually like him. 202 00:08:43,764 --> 00:08:46,663 God, I like my boyfriend, too! 203 00:08:46,664 --> 00:08:48,527 We better not tell the rest of them, though. 204 00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:51,116 Don't want them to feel bad. 205 00:08:53,981 --> 00:08:57,156 And that's when I stole the bust of Lincoln from the headmaster's office. 206 00:08:57,157 --> 00:08:59,089 Wait, wait, wait. 207 00:08:59,090 --> 00:09:01,643 Why did a boarding school in Switzerland have a bust of Lincoln? 208 00:09:01,644 --> 00:09:03,403 I don't know. That place was crazy. 209 00:09:03,404 --> 00:09:05,716 I was learning grammar from a German lady. 210 00:09:09,272 --> 00:09:10,652 Uh... 211 00:09:10,653 --> 00:09:13,898 Actually, buddy, I gotta wake up early tomorrow. 212 00:09:15,106 --> 00:09:16,555 Oh. Okay. Let me get my coat. 213 00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:17,660 Okay. 214 00:09:19,041 --> 00:09:20,110 Did you talk to him yet? 215 00:09:20,111 --> 00:09:22,112 No. No, I'm sorry, man. 216 00:09:22,113 --> 00:09:24,908 I guess all that good, free Scotch just drove it right out of my head. 217 00:09:24,909 --> 00:09:26,461 You're killing me, man. 218 00:09:26,462 --> 00:09:28,083 Come on. I don't know how much more of this I can take. 219 00:09:28,084 --> 00:09:30,154 Hey, don't worry. I am on your side. 220 00:09:30,155 --> 00:09:31,846 Like Nationwide Insurance. 221 00:09:31,847 --> 00:09:34,746 Oh. Man. I just got that jingle out of my head. 222 00:09:38,474 --> 00:09:40,406 I used to go watch a lot of baseball 223 00:09:40,407 --> 00:09:42,166 when I lived on this farm with this Amish family. 224 00:09:42,167 --> 00:09:44,272 I'm sorry, you lived with an Amish family? Yeah. 225 00:09:44,273 --> 00:09:47,206 No electricity, no TV, nothing for a year. 226 00:09:47,207 --> 00:09:50,174 That's amazing. Are you going to write a book about it? 227 00:09:50,175 --> 00:09:52,350 You know, some things you just do. 228 00:09:54,766 --> 00:09:57,043 See? That wasn't so bad, huh? 229 00:09:57,044 --> 00:09:59,080 You know what? Emily is pretty great. 230 00:09:59,081 --> 00:10:01,116 Yeah, right? And I knew you two would hit it off. 231 00:10:01,117 --> 00:10:02,359 Yeah. 232 00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:04,741 Oh! Why don't you come do girl stuff with us? 233 00:10:04,742 --> 00:10:07,122 Yeah, we're gonna have high tea at the Four Seasons, 234 00:10:07,123 --> 00:10:10,955 and Madison is organizing this pole-dancing empowerment class. 235 00:10:11,576 --> 00:10:13,025 Great. 236 00:10:13,026 --> 00:10:15,475 Oh! And next week, Kensington is having a sex-toy party. 237 00:10:15,476 --> 00:10:17,892 Man, whatever happened to just getting your nails done 238 00:10:17,893 --> 00:10:20,827 and bitching about whoever wasn't there? 239 00:10:23,174 --> 00:10:26,797 Oh, yeah, it wasn't bad. I met this girl, Emily, who's really cool. 240 00:10:26,798 --> 00:10:28,281 Of course, I'm never going to see her again 241 00:10:28,282 --> 00:10:30,145 unless I want to strip or buy pink vibrators, but... 242 00:10:30,146 --> 00:10:32,182 Tell us more about this Emily. 243 00:10:32,183 --> 00:10:34,356 Why don't you just ask this Emily girl to hang out? 244 00:10:34,357 --> 00:10:39,154 It's not that easy for girls. These are, like, really treacherous waters. 245 00:10:39,155 --> 00:10:41,640 You know what I mean? You have to navigate and negotiate 246 00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:43,124 very, very carefully. 247 00:10:43,125 --> 00:10:44,850 Hey, you guys. Hey, Steph. 248 00:10:44,851 --> 00:10:47,784 Oh, hey. Hey, did you want to grab dinner on Thursday? 249 00:10:47,785 --> 00:10:49,682 Sure. You know, we should invite Emily. 250 00:10:49,683 --> 00:10:51,684 Sure. And boyfriends, too? Why not? 251 00:10:51,685 --> 00:10:53,168 Great. Anyone need anything? 252 00:10:53,169 --> 00:10:54,826 I'm good. Okay. 253 00:10:56,103 --> 00:10:58,898 Wow! Wow! 254 00:10:58,899 --> 00:11:01,349 That was like the Cuban missile crisis. Am I right? 255 00:11:01,350 --> 00:11:02,592 Mmm-hmm. 256 00:11:08,012 --> 00:11:09,288 - Really? - You'd do anything... 257 00:11:09,289 --> 00:11:10,461 I'd do anything? Yeah. 258 00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:11,980 Are you high? No. 259 00:11:11,981 --> 00:11:13,395 Okay. Phil, back me up here. 260 00:11:13,396 --> 00:11:15,881 Will you tell this idiot that online is the smart way to go? 261 00:11:15,882 --> 00:11:18,159 Smart? 262 00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:19,539 Every time I get back from lunch, I expect to find you've traded the store 263 00:11:19,540 --> 00:11:21,231 for a handful of magic beans. 264 00:11:21,232 --> 00:11:23,129 Phil, you're a mental health specialist. Mmm-hmm. 265 00:11:23,130 --> 00:11:25,062 Will you tell this guy to shut up? 266 00:11:25,063 --> 00:11:26,581 Well, first of all, don't fight. 267 00:11:26,582 --> 00:11:29,101 I apologize for Mike. Frequently. 268 00:11:29,102 --> 00:11:31,379 Oh, really? Sorry. 269 00:11:31,380 --> 00:11:33,553 Look, you can work this thing out. 270 00:11:33,554 --> 00:11:37,005 You know, it just tears me up that you can't see how much Mike looks up to you. 271 00:11:37,006 --> 00:11:38,904 What? Nobody looks up to Kenny. 272 00:11:38,905 --> 00:11:41,527 You know, I'm sorry, but that attitude is not helpful. 273 00:11:41,528 --> 00:11:42,666 I could kiss you. 274 00:11:42,667 --> 00:11:44,772 You wouldn't like the beard. 275 00:11:44,773 --> 00:11:47,464 Look, you don't have to agree with all of Mike's ideas, but they are valid. 276 00:11:47,465 --> 00:11:49,467 Really? I told you. 277 00:11:51,434 --> 00:11:55,679 You know, a friendship and a business relationship are hard to balance. 278 00:11:57,026 --> 00:11:58,958 Mike's in a subordinate position at work, 279 00:11:58,959 --> 00:12:00,615 so if you ignore his ideas, 280 00:12:00,616 --> 00:12:03,445 he simply assumes that's how you see him the rest of the time. 281 00:12:03,446 --> 00:12:05,241 But I don't. 282 00:12:06,553 --> 00:12:07,691 I'm sorry. 283 00:12:07,692 --> 00:12:08,831 I'm sorry, too. 284 00:12:12,179 --> 00:12:14,940 Wait a minute. That was actually helpful. 285 00:12:14,941 --> 00:12:17,218 Yeah. And free of charge. 286 00:12:17,219 --> 00:12:18,771 And now I am going to sing you a little song 287 00:12:18,772 --> 00:12:22,361 about a couple I know named Claire and Anthony. 288 00:12:22,362 --> 00:12:23,707 Are those patients? 289 00:12:23,708 --> 00:12:27,676 It's okay. They're not together anymore. 290 00:12:27,677 --> 00:12:30,196 So, I spent the better part of the afternoon slugging kegs around, 291 00:12:30,197 --> 00:12:32,820 while John went through the better part of a $1,000 bottle of cognac 292 00:12:32,821 --> 00:12:34,718 with a Pussycat Doll. Which one? 293 00:12:34,719 --> 00:12:36,720 I don't know. The mean-looking one. 294 00:12:36,721 --> 00:12:38,618 He's so irresponsible. Man, you've got to talk to him. 295 00:12:38,619 --> 00:12:41,173 Brendo, here's the thing. If you want to be equal partners with John, 296 00:12:41,174 --> 00:12:43,347 you're going to have to learn to manage him yourself. 297 00:12:43,348 --> 00:12:44,624 I know, but it's just gotten so... 298 00:12:44,625 --> 00:12:46,454 Plus, at this point, 299 00:12:46,455 --> 00:12:49,146 you've probably spent more quality time with the guy than I even have. 300 00:12:49,147 --> 00:12:51,493 I mean, I'm not even sure we'd still be friends 301 00:12:51,494 --> 00:12:55,256 if we hadn't killed that homeless guy together. 302 00:12:55,257 --> 00:12:59,018 Don't tell him that. He wants to believe you. 303 00:12:59,019 --> 00:13:00,986 Okay, Bobby, come on, come on, come on. We're going to be late. 304 00:13:00,987 --> 00:13:02,125 Get your shoes on. 305 00:13:02,126 --> 00:13:03,782 Peej, I don't understand. 306 00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:06,060 If you're trying to make a new friend, how come I have to come? 307 00:13:06,061 --> 00:13:08,545 Because if we're couple friends, 308 00:13:08,546 --> 00:13:10,478 then she and I can be friends. 309 00:13:10,479 --> 00:13:13,377 And, you know, we could really use some couple friends. 310 00:13:13,378 --> 00:13:15,656 Hey, Kenny and Mike are kind of a couple. Mmm. 311 00:13:17,003 --> 00:13:18,038 I'll go get my shoes. 312 00:13:23,181 --> 00:13:24,423 Hey, Steph. 313 00:13:24,424 --> 00:13:27,806 I feel like death. I can't go out tonight. 314 00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,324 Oh, no. 315 00:13:29,325 --> 00:13:31,395 Hey, Stephanie's sick. 316 00:13:31,396 --> 00:13:34,157 Well, you know, I guess we'll just reschedule. 317 00:13:34,158 --> 00:13:36,400 Oh, man, that sucks. 318 00:13:36,401 --> 00:13:38,092 Madden? 319 00:13:38,093 --> 00:13:40,749 We can. But I don't see any reason why you shouldn't still go. 320 00:13:40,750 --> 00:13:42,441 Oh. I don't know. 321 00:13:42,442 --> 00:13:45,133 Hey, she doesn't see any reason we shouldn't still go. 322 00:13:45,134 --> 00:13:47,239 But, it wouldn't be weird? 323 00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:50,035 Really. I insist. All right. 324 00:13:50,036 --> 00:13:51,691 I guess you call me if you need anything. 325 00:13:51,692 --> 00:13:53,210 Okay. 326 00:13:53,211 --> 00:13:55,005 All right. Couples' night is still on. 327 00:13:55,006 --> 00:13:56,594 Yay! 328 00:13:59,562 --> 00:14:00,631 Oh. 329 00:14:00,632 --> 00:14:02,979 Here they are. Do I look okay? 330 00:14:02,980 --> 00:14:05,084 It's just a friend of Stephanie's. I know. 331 00:14:05,085 --> 00:14:07,535 I haven't made a new friend in a while. 332 00:14:07,536 --> 00:14:09,709 Do we still make each other bracelets? 333 00:14:09,710 --> 00:14:12,436 I mean, I used to offer to show the other kids my horse, 334 00:14:12,437 --> 00:14:15,025 but Butterfinger died years ago. 335 00:14:15,026 --> 00:14:17,062 Relax, we're not even sure we're gonna like them. 336 00:14:17,063 --> 00:14:18,995 Hi, guys. Hi. 337 00:14:18,996 --> 00:14:22,619 I'm so sorry that we're late, but we just put a down payment on a Party Barge. 338 00:14:22,620 --> 00:14:24,552 Yeah. We have a lake house in Michigan. 339 00:14:24,553 --> 00:14:27,279 We love to have people out to sample our home-brewed beer. 340 00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:29,351 I'm Bobby. I'm thinking of buying a horse. 341 00:14:33,631 --> 00:14:37,116 I am still so impressed that you're a pediatric surgeon. 342 00:14:37,117 --> 00:14:40,568 I mean, my God, you do something for the world. 343 00:14:40,569 --> 00:14:44,503 It's just like operating on anybody. Just smaller. 344 00:14:44,504 --> 00:14:46,125 You know, Sean, I just wanted to offer, 345 00:14:46,126 --> 00:14:48,265 since P.J. and I are both sports writers, 346 00:14:48,266 --> 00:14:50,405 if you ever need tickets to any games... 347 00:14:50,406 --> 00:14:54,927 Oh, cool. You know, the kids at the hospital would really enjoy going to a game. 348 00:14:54,928 --> 00:14:58,172 Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure. Of course. But, I mean, you'll come with them, right? 349 00:14:58,173 --> 00:14:59,725 Oh, yeah. 350 00:14:59,726 --> 00:15:01,071 I think he's in love. 351 00:15:03,385 --> 00:15:06,318 Well, I am so sorry that we have to rush out of here, 352 00:15:06,319 --> 00:15:09,321 but we have two golden retrievers at home that must be walked. 353 00:15:09,322 --> 00:15:10,460 You have dogs? 354 00:15:10,461 --> 00:15:11,633 Yeah. Yeah. 355 00:15:11,634 --> 00:15:14,119 Scout and Buster. The sweetest dogs ever. 356 00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:15,810 Scout and Buster. 357 00:15:15,811 --> 00:15:17,916 It's perfect. It's so perfect. 358 00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,503 All right, well, we'll have to do this again real soon. 359 00:15:19,504 --> 00:15:20,711 Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. 360 00:15:20,712 --> 00:15:21,885 - Okay. - Great meeting you guys. 361 00:15:21,886 --> 00:15:23,369 Nice meeting you. We'd love it. 362 00:15:23,370 --> 00:15:26,096 Take care. Good night. 363 00:15:26,097 --> 00:15:29,030 Oh, my God, can we keep them? 364 00:15:29,031 --> 00:15:30,514 Oh, I know, right? 365 00:15:30,515 --> 00:15:34,553 They read. They travel. They sail. 366 00:15:34,554 --> 00:15:37,349 They were adults. 367 00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:42,388 Sean heals sick people. I mean, can you imagine? 368 00:15:42,389 --> 00:15:45,426 I know. Did you hear the way she said tricolore? 369 00:15:45,427 --> 00:15:47,117 I bet she speaks Italian. 370 00:15:47,118 --> 00:15:50,465 You know, you were right. We have needed couple friends. 371 00:15:50,466 --> 00:15:54,159 Our other friends have been holding us back. 372 00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:55,988 Now we can go to wine tastings. 373 00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:57,541 And apple picking. 374 00:15:57,542 --> 00:15:59,888 And Gospel Brunch! 375 00:15:59,889 --> 00:16:01,926 And Gospel Brunch. 376 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,758 I also make a great tortilla soup. 377 00:16:07,759 --> 00:16:09,450 I mean, what Renaissance man doesn't? 378 00:16:09,451 --> 00:16:11,521 John, hey. Hi, guys. 379 00:16:11,522 --> 00:16:13,247 Can I speak to you for one second? Yeah. Sure. 380 00:16:13,248 --> 00:16:15,284 Excuse me for one second. 381 00:16:16,527 --> 00:16:17,630 They're great, aren't they? 382 00:16:17,631 --> 00:16:19,943 Yeah, two drivers' licenses from Guam. 383 00:16:19,944 --> 00:16:23,222 What are the odds? Listen, we're equal partners in this, 384 00:16:23,223 --> 00:16:27,709 but since we've opened, I've kind of been doing all the legwork, 385 00:16:27,710 --> 00:16:31,023 and you're sort of treating this like some personal party you're throwing, okay? 386 00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:32,300 It's not fair. 387 00:16:32,301 --> 00:16:34,026 I understand what you're saying. 388 00:16:34,027 --> 00:16:36,166 Dude, that's great because I really... 389 00:16:36,167 --> 00:16:40,895 But the fact that I put up all the money makes me an equaller partner than you. 390 00:16:40,896 --> 00:16:42,690 You know? So, there's that. 391 00:16:42,691 --> 00:16:45,693 You know what? I quit. Okay? 392 00:16:45,694 --> 00:16:48,420 Now you can bartend and you can do the schedules. 393 00:16:48,421 --> 00:16:52,527 You can book the bands. You can stay two hours after close to check the registers. 394 00:16:52,528 --> 00:16:53,873 And if you want a full staff tonight, 395 00:16:53,874 --> 00:16:56,152 you can talk down the two waitresses crying out back 396 00:16:56,153 --> 00:16:58,671 because they're in a love triangle with the skeevy barback. 397 00:16:58,672 --> 00:16:59,914 Oh. The one with the Camaro? 398 00:16:59,915 --> 00:17:01,848 They all have Camaros. 399 00:17:03,781 --> 00:17:07,026 But is he the one with a switchblade? I'll let you find out. 400 00:17:09,718 --> 00:17:11,201 So, I'm getting a big bump in salary, 401 00:17:11,202 --> 00:17:12,478 we're gonna split our duties down the middle, 402 00:17:12,479 --> 00:17:15,171 and Thursday night, Brendo gets to hold court. 403 00:17:15,172 --> 00:17:16,862 Why Thursday? Well, 'cause John gets 404 00:17:16,863 --> 00:17:19,589 to hold court Friday, Saturday, and every other day of the week. 405 00:17:19,590 --> 00:17:21,556 He did put up all the money. 406 00:17:21,557 --> 00:17:23,524 Hey, Peej. Have you heard from Emily yet? 407 00:17:23,525 --> 00:17:25,353 No. But she said she'll call. 408 00:17:25,354 --> 00:17:26,768 Should we call them? We should call them. 409 00:17:26,769 --> 00:17:28,356 Well, it's only been a day. 410 00:17:28,357 --> 00:17:29,807 Right. Right. 411 00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:37,194 Hold on. I think it's finally time for a showdown. 412 00:17:40,714 --> 00:17:42,819 Hey, Andy! Hey. 413 00:17:42,820 --> 00:17:45,063 You know, I was thinking, we should get our Bulls tickets back, huh? 414 00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:47,479 I'll call tomorrow and you can write me a check. 415 00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:48,894 It's $3,500. 416 00:17:48,895 --> 00:17:51,069 All right. That's it. All right? 417 00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:53,209 I never went to a Bulls game with you. 418 00:17:53,210 --> 00:17:55,832 You were my couple's counselor and you were terrible. 419 00:17:55,833 --> 00:17:57,351 Now, come on. Wait a minute... 420 00:17:57,352 --> 00:17:59,629 You gave Kenny and Mike better advice in three minutes 421 00:17:59,630 --> 00:18:01,424 than you did the entire time with us. 422 00:18:01,425 --> 00:18:04,358 You and Meredith are still together, right? Yeah. 423 00:18:04,359 --> 00:18:06,601 I remembered who you were all along, Andy. 424 00:18:06,602 --> 00:18:08,603 I just didn't want to embarrass you. 425 00:18:08,604 --> 00:18:11,572 Oh, really? Every patient is different. 426 00:18:11,573 --> 00:18:13,746 Kenny and Mike, they just needed to clear the air. 427 00:18:13,747 --> 00:18:16,094 Now, you two? You needed a hobby, 428 00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:17,785 something you could share together. 429 00:18:17,786 --> 00:18:19,580 And that was hating me. 430 00:18:19,581 --> 00:18:22,583 Wait, you can't tell me that was intentional. 431 00:18:22,584 --> 00:18:25,241 I think the results speak for themselves. 432 00:18:25,242 --> 00:18:28,727 I'll also bet you $150 that you and your wife make love tonight. 433 00:18:28,728 --> 00:18:30,625 Excuse me? Come on. 434 00:18:30,626 --> 00:18:32,593 "Guess who I ran into today?" 435 00:18:32,594 --> 00:18:35,078 "Oh, that quack? Oh, he's infuriating." 436 00:18:35,079 --> 00:18:37,805 "Yeah, he's the worst!" "I love you." 437 00:18:37,806 --> 00:18:40,946 "Oh, I love you, too. I'm taking my blouse off now." 438 00:18:40,947 --> 00:18:43,914 "Oh, don't forget the mayonnaise and the chocolate syrup." 439 00:18:43,915 --> 00:18:45,813 "And we'll put on the Barry Manilow records, 440 00:18:45,814 --> 00:18:47,504 "or would you rather have Sinatra?" 441 00:18:47,505 --> 00:18:50,335 "Let's let the dog be in the room this time. That's always fun." 442 00:18:50,336 --> 00:18:52,475 Well, we missed you. We had such a good time. 443 00:18:52,476 --> 00:18:53,579 Really? 444 00:18:53,580 --> 00:18:55,133 Yeah, and thank you. 445 00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,962 They're our first couple friends, you know? 446 00:18:56,963 --> 00:18:58,515 I mean, Emily hasn't called yet, 447 00:18:58,516 --> 00:19:00,103 but we were thinking of, I don't know, 448 00:19:00,104 --> 00:19:01,553 doing something couple-y, you know, 449 00:19:01,554 --> 00:19:03,865 like getting tickets to Wicked, or something. 450 00:19:03,866 --> 00:19:09,112 Yeah. About that, I don't think Emily will be calling. 451 00:19:09,113 --> 00:19:11,770 Why? Everything went so well. 452 00:19:11,771 --> 00:19:16,500 It did. It did, and she adores you. And Sean does, too. 453 00:19:18,329 --> 00:19:20,434 It's Bobby. Bobby? 454 00:19:20,435 --> 00:19:23,678 Yeah, Sean felt he came on a little strong. 455 00:19:23,679 --> 00:19:25,956 He thought the whole nice thing was an act. 456 00:19:25,957 --> 00:19:27,786 Bobby is nice. Oh, I know. 457 00:19:27,787 --> 00:19:29,891 I mean, birds practically land on his shoulder. 458 00:19:29,892 --> 00:19:31,962 Disney would write songs about him magically appearing 459 00:19:31,963 --> 00:19:33,309 if you wish hard enough. 460 00:19:33,310 --> 00:19:34,862 What is wrong with these people? 461 00:19:34,863 --> 00:19:38,037 I don't know, I don't know. Friendship is a tricky thing, you know. 462 00:19:38,038 --> 00:19:40,247 I mean, the chemistry has to be just right. 463 00:19:40,248 --> 00:19:41,869 And you know men. 464 00:19:41,870 --> 00:19:43,319 I don't know why they have to make everything so complicated. 465 00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:44,769 Oh! You're telling me. 466 00:19:48,290 --> 00:19:52,191 I just don't understand. Did Emily give you any reason? 467 00:19:52,777 --> 00:19:54,985 Um... 468 00:19:54,986 --> 00:19:57,505 She said I came on a little strong. 469 00:19:57,506 --> 00:19:59,852 Oh, Peej. 470 00:19:59,853 --> 00:20:01,544 All right. 471 00:20:01,545 --> 00:20:04,132 Hey, we lost a friend, too. Phil's not coming around anymore. 472 00:20:04,133 --> 00:20:06,376 Yeah, apparently Andy caused a terrible scene 473 00:20:06,377 --> 00:20:08,758 making all kinds of crazy accusations. 474 00:20:08,759 --> 00:20:10,415 I just told him who I was. 475 00:20:10,416 --> 00:20:13,487 And he pointed out how you're always undermining the two of us. 476 00:20:13,488 --> 00:20:17,836 He's trying to make me a common enemy to save your relationship. 477 00:20:17,837 --> 00:20:19,631 Well, I don't play that game. 478 00:20:19,632 --> 00:20:22,875 Yes, Andy. Phil's a master manipulator. 479 00:20:22,876 --> 00:20:24,602 Actually, Phil did say he was paranoid. 480 00:20:25,638 --> 00:20:29,192 God, making new friends is hard. 481 00:20:29,193 --> 00:20:31,746 I have a bad feeling we're stuck with each other. 482 00:20:31,747 --> 00:20:34,059 Well, hey, we do cover all the key demographics. 483 00:20:34,060 --> 00:20:38,443 I mean, you've got your sensitive, yet strong, modern man. 484 00:20:38,444 --> 00:20:40,514 The hard-working entrepreneur. 485 00:20:40,515 --> 00:20:42,481 The guy who can do this. 486 00:20:42,482 --> 00:20:44,690 The brother who's afraid to feel his feelings. 487 00:20:44,691 --> 00:20:47,831 And the handsome guy who defuses their jealousy with humor. 488 00:20:47,832 --> 00:20:49,281 Ooh. When does that guy get here?